A Long Term Care Story, ctd.
October 21, 2013 2 Comments
I wrote this post around two years ago about our family preparing to move to a new house into which my mother in law could move with us because she could no longer live alone. Thinking back, to say that I had no idea what was about to happen to my family is one of the great understatements of my life.
I have come to know that long term care transitions are exceedingly difficult. Moving my mother in law into our house, moving her from a hospital to a rehab facility after a fall last January, and then moving her from rehabilitation to an Assisted Living Facility were very difficult. At each of these transitions, the level of increased confusion and symptoms (wandering, anger, aggression; she has frontal-temporal dementia, a rare form of the disease that greatly impacts behavior before complete memory loss) as she moved from one place she used to hate but that had become where she felt secure, has been jarring and unsettling. At no point in all of this have we felt certain that we were doing the right thing.
My wife is a nurse, I am supposed to be an expert in long term care, and we are doing this with ample resources (my mother in law has a very robust private long term care insurance policy, and extra resources as well)….I have no idea how families survive this experience with less.
We are now undertaking another transition, from Assisted Living to dementia/memory care, as the Assisted Living facility feels they can no longer care for my mother in law safely. To provide a sense of the financial magnitudes, the assisted living facility in which she now lives costs around $6,000/month as a base price, with full care about $85,000 annually. For the past 5-6 weeks, we have been paying for private sitting care 24/7 on top of Assisted Living, as we tried to determine if she would stabilize and be able to remain in her current assisted living sitting. That private sitter care has cost around $3,000/week (not reimbursable by insurance), on top of the assisted living fees.
The supply of memory/dementia care beds in Durham/Chapel Hill is quite tight and she is on the waiting list at the facility linked to her Assisted Living location, but she will almost certainly have to move prior to a spot there becoming open. So, we are looking at multiple locations, including in Raleigh, and Burlington. The price of a private dementia/memory care bed ranges from around $6,000-$11,000/month in these markets.
Our family is blessed with reasonable resources to deal with these difficult issues for my mother in law, but many are not. There is no more important issue that receives less policy and political attention than long term care. That is a bad thing that does and will cost our country dearly.